Lost among people, lost in familiarity, in the void, among the lost. Why, does it take only a moment lose your way, but an entire lifetime to discover who you really are? The saddest part, losing, one self among people who were once family.
Losing it all, getting lost in a void, an abyss of thoughts, an endless dream. Aah! What a bliss. But honestly, what does this all mean? Does it mean I am finally discovering myself or losing it all in?
Day comes, when all your buttons are pushed to their maximum level, that day you will see the mindless beast I have become. Why, did to let stay in their alone? So much silence, so much emptiness, has made me numb. So what am I? A mindless beast that void made me? The person that once everyone knew? The person, I believedI was? Or just a stranger to all and a ghost of who I really was.
I am the ghost. I am the ghost of the person I was and the shout of the person, the beast, my mind has made me. I was set out to find myself, instead I end up discovering everything I am not! I am not this person, if not a people pleaser, if not a perfectionist, what am I?
They say, you really are the person that makes happy. All those above things don’t make me happy, but then what does? I don’t know, wish it were as easy as googling something I don’t know. I don’t know what makes me happy, because I have never bothered about what really makes me happy, it’s always about others.I need to do this for myself, I need to find out who I am. So let me try not pleasing others!
But wait! It is true! I am not perfect, I make mistakes and it really hurts me, to do them.
The catch there is, for discovering who you really are, you need to find peace with who you are at the moment. You need to aacept who you are, you need to thrive to change you after finding peace. Nothing is constant, not your inner peace, not your tears, not the void and abyss you get lost into, not who you are. Everyday you discover a new perspective of yourself. I am on the path of finding peace, and then will I learn to discover who I am everyday, till the day I die.
It is a journey not a moment, discovering your self and a lifetime journey.